our blue sky girl

Ask me anything   about    

I'm here and I'm learning.

malformalady:

The Great Mormon (Papilio memnon) is a large butterfly that belongs to the swallowtail family and is found in southern Asia. It is widely distributed and has thirteen subspecies. The females come in a variety of morphs. The most common morphs, such as anchanes, mimic natural models which are unpalatable to birds.

malformalady:

The Great Mormon (Papilio memnon) is a large butterfly that belongs to the swallowtail family and is found in southern Asia. It is widely distributed and has thirteen subspecies. The females come in a variety of morphs. The most common morphs, such as anchanes, mimic natural models which are unpalatable to birds.

(via rabbittongue)

— 11 months ago with 29388 notes

this is me. im dark and delicate and alive; aware of my mortality but not afraid of it. i have no fear and no shame, im proud of it all. it shows. i show it because i cant not, ive tried to hide it but it refuses to be hidden. i dont care. im happy.

— 11 months ago

my teeth will fall out and i will grow old and i will live forever before i find you

— 1 year ago with 1 note
#teeth  #old  #writing 
I. WANT.

I want to love someone so much I move overseas. That I start a business wih them. That I move in with them. That when they break up with me they physically break me. I want to love someone and have them love me so fiercely in return that it’s all we can do to turn away. I want. I want. I want. I want to be loved by someone so perfectly and I am so willing to fucking love. AND I’M FUCKING NOT. I fucking couldn’t. If they loved me like that I’d die. If I loved them that way and they didn’t love me, I’d fucking die. I want to be made real. I want to fall in love and mean it. I want to fucking give them everything. And I can’t. I just want to feel normal. And it sounds stupid and ridiculous. I want someone to fall hopelessly, madly, ridiculously, in love with me. But for me. And all of me. I want them to love me but I don’t want to give anything up and that’s not fair. That’s not ok, and it’s not fair. I want to love and be loved in return, but I want drugs and alcohol and strangers and friends and unnaccountable behaviour. I want to live and I want to be loved and I can’t and it kills me because I just want to stay home and watch a movie but I can’t but I can’t but I can’t.

I know what I want.

But I know what I can’t have.

Because of what I’m not willing to give.

Because I want the unattainable.

I look at these girls with their boys, and I wonder.

How am I single and they have boyfriends? How do they have someone and not me? How does she, of all people, have something I don’t?

Because they can give their shit up and I refuse. I fucking refuse. I will be my downfall, and I am. And that’s ok. But when you’re so ready to love it fucking kills. It fucking kills me.

I actually need that perfect boy more than anyone fucking knows.

But more than that, I need my perfect fucking self and I ruin myself. I ruin myself every single day. I wish these words made sense. I wish my brain would make sense. I wish I could just turn things on and off and grow up. I don’t need someone else to make me whole because I am, but I need someone else to make me stop.

— 1 year ago
#writing  #midnight  #love  #fuckup  #drugs  #alcohol  #boys  #girls  #alltheinbetween 
I feel this every day, but sometimes I wish someone would just put out their hand

I feel this every day, but sometimes I wish someone would just put out their hand

(Source: kevvn, via spiro-streaming)

— 1 year ago with 638182 notes
roadsonherface:

Road to Nowhere #new mexico #road #las cruces #photo #photography
View Post

roadsonherface:

Road to Nowhere #new mexico #road #las cruces #photo #photography

View Post

— 1 year ago with 1 note
Getting fit, stopping drinking and drugs, not biting my nails.

Getting fit, stopping drinking and drugs, not biting my nails.

(Source: amandamagnus, via lonelycoast)

— 1 year ago with 20381 notes